I’m sure this – ‘Christmas (Makes Me Want To Blow My Brains Out)’ – won’t be the last of the alternative Christmas songs this year. Ho ho ho. They seem to grow in number each time and I profess my favourite has long been Poly Styrene’s ‘Black Christmas’, the recounting by reggae of the true story of a Los Angeles resident who went to a Christmas house party where many of his relatives would be gathered, dressed as Santa Claus, and blew most of them away as they say in L.A.
As for Funch, well if you believe in reincarnation you’ll be eternally grateful for vocalist Claus Funch who might well be the embodiment of Lou Reed for all I know. He sure sounds like him. In fact I thought he was about to sing “Just a perfect day…” in a minor key until he veered off into “…steady job” instead.
Essentially it’s a targeted litany against the ‘Festive Season’ or whatever they call it these days, by the knackered worker. Starting with an assault on his routine employment (“demanding but pretty fair/hate it but get along”), and his declining physical appearance (“fading out and losing your hair”), he eventually concludes that “nobody cares” and that the whole thing is a sham and makes him want to end it all.
There is one line I don’t get – “Thru spring you ́re waiting for your summer blackouts”. Are there regular power failures in Denmark and if so why do they occur then?
But the following one is spot on – “By autumn you ́re back in the cage until winter is here to drive you away”. Even in temperate UK we’re down in minus Centrigrade figures already and we’re only in November. It definitely feels like a cage and it’s going to last until April.
But perhaps there is an optimist hiding in there after all. He sings (no, growls),
“Where is the sense in this/I ́m still trying to figure it out” but then concludes (“Hate it but get along”) – just like thebrain-numbing job.
Perhaps this is the one, Claus? The turning point. Make sure you do the lottery on the big day.
He says it is his first and last Christmas song.
I’ll tell you what I’d like to see if he ever did a follow up. A song about why people can’t call Christmas ‘Christmas’ any longer. Had this song been released in the UK a label would have insisted the title was changed to ‘The Holiday Season (Makes Me Want To Blow My Brains Out)’ or something like that. One of our big retailers, Tesco, is selling ‘Evergreen Trees’ rather than Christmas Trees.
Just wondering. I’m not particularly religious.
Claus Funch is returning after a hiatus that lasted 17 years (and Christmases) and as a ‘they’, meaning with a ‘collective’ (see below).
Funch’s debut ‘My Love Demon’ (2006) was hailed as “Danish rock at its best.” This single marks the beginning of the band’s creative reawakening, with more releases set for early and mid-2026—including a digital reissue of ‘My Love Demon’ and a new album of previously unreleased material.
Lyrics, Music & Arrangement by Claus Funch.
Funch is:
Claus Funch – Vocals
Mads Jensen – Piano, additional vocals
Tim Graubæk – Bass, Bells & Perc.
Tue West – Guitars
Adam Winberg – Drums, additional vocals
Released on Celebration Records.
Find him/them on:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/funchen
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/clausfunchen/
Bandcamp: https://clausfunch.bandcamp.com/
